Someone Else's Yesterday

There is a girl who changes how she looks everyday. She changes everything except a necklace which she wears around her neck. One day her hair my be put in a pony tail, the next maybe she cut it short and the next instead of blonde her hair is brown. Changing from boots to tense shoes to heels, t-shirts, turtle necks, v-cut shirts, dresses, skirts, glasses, non, sandals, black, yellow, red, green, blue. She looks like a different person every day, except the necklace. One day someone asked her why she does this. She and she answered, "I'm not who I was yesterday but I am who I am now because of who I was yesterday. Every different style is a new me and my necklace is a reminder of every yesterday I was some else." 

I am not my past but my past is my future. 

It means that I'm not who I was a minute ago but I am who I am now because of who I was. 

Illusion pre-review

I finished reading the book Illusion about a week ago. It was a good book and I've been meaning to review it fully but since I'm lazy I haven't done it yet. There are many different morels in the 500 page book so its taking me a while. And right now it is midnight and, as I said, I'm lazy so instead of finishing this post I'll just go to sleep now. Night, peoples.

Truth 1-3

1. Everyone cries

2. If you smile at someone they will most likely smile back because they think they are suppose to.

3. Children are honest until we teach them not to be.

Coming up...

THINGS I BELIEVE TO BE TRUE. 

Little or Big things in Life 

That I except as Fact

temptation

This is a beautiful painting of Eve and the temping fruit. You see how the red and green fruits mean good and evil and the peace with a bite in it was green but when she ate it it dripped that red juice or blood whichever one you think it is. We are all tempted to do things and we have all given in before (weather you admit it or not) So why do we listen to that evil voice inside our head why do we make wrong choices. To help ourselves? To help others? To get revenge? There is noway to avoid it we will always mess up. The hardest thing and something I struggle with is admitting that we did. No reasons, no excuses you messed up and thats that. And its hard to say "I did this wrong and I'm sorry." Without making an excuse or giving a reason why. And sometimes there is a really good reason which is okay but the point is that its hard not to give an excuse. Why do you give excuses for what you do? Why not just admit you were wrong and be done with it? Maybe because not everyone likes to just let things go. People hold grudges and you just want them to understand how you see it. And the excuse is the budding of an argument. The deed was the seed. So is there anyway to make mends? Over time and with understanding and good friend sure they will forgive you.

Don't be Afraid

Why is it that people are afraid to do things. We know that it holds us back especially when there is nothing to be scared of. It's an awful thing to be scared we all know that, but why. Everyone knows there are things you should be scared of but what about the things that you shouldn't fear. Why do you? I challenge you to find one thing that you greatly fear ( that you shouldn't ) and face it. Find out if it's really that bad. Take that step, take that chance. Go for it.

The Time Keeper

My Thoughts on The Time Keeper - Mitch Albom

Time. We are obsessed with it. A due date? Can't be late? Have to be faster, have to get things done, have to keep going, have to keep counting. It's no doubt that math is the most important subject in school and one of the first things you learn is how to keep track of time. I've always been slow. To slow, that's what everyone told me. They nicknamed me sloth. I walked to slowly, I ate to slowly, I did homework to slowly, I understood things to slowly. I always had to be faster, because I was always behind. In camp I recall walking at the back of the group. I was to slow. There's no doubt I probably could have been in front if I wanted to but I liked the woods and at camp we walked through the woods everywhere we went. I enjoyed the trees, the birds, the little frogs that crossed the paths. I had no problem with my pace, but the world did. I had to learn to go faster, everything has to be faster. In school I ate slowly. I savored the food and listened to every word the other kids had to say. I liked hearing there discussions it was interesting. But they rushed and I did not, so I was left with my meal alone and rushing to get to class on time. I worked on homework and it took me hours. I wanted to be sure I got it right I wanted to understand it all. That left me up for hours, 8:00, 9:00, 10:00, I'd be up until midnight doing homework. In school I couldn't write fast enough to keep up with notes. I would weave my head around the people in front of me trying to keep up. So the world move on at a pace much faster than my own. Now I have to be on time, I can't be late, I have to get there, I have to get this done, I'm going to be late. Perfection is forfeit to speed, and speed is what we work for. I tell people that I don't like time, I'm bad at it, I can never keep up. In order to live "right" I keep my eyes on the clock all day, all night. I have to watch the clock. So when I used to pay no mind to the time, things happened when they happened, I now must always watch the clock. I have to count every second so I'm not late, so I don't stay up to long, or sleep in past morning. In truth I hate time. I always have and always will. It feels like a limit that tells you what you can and can't do. What if you don't have time? What if you have to much time? It's 12:25, I'm keeping time like everyone else. Watching the clock because I have to, not because I want to. Because they say I should worry about time, can't be late, I have to watch time. 12:26, another minute. And the time doesn't stop. 12:27, it's still going and I'm still watching, because I have to. But I don't want to.    

Ok, that was before I finished the book (I finished it a little while after I wrote that) anyways over all the book was about time. Mostly about not taking it for granted. And it really shows how much we do. Could you ever imagine a world without time. And before you say yes stop and think how many times you use the word time, look at a clock, think what time is it, or think about the future in a day. Once you have that number let me know if you could think of a life without time. So the main characters are Dor (Father Time), Sara, and Victor. Dor needs to help both of them, the one who wants to much time and the one who want to little.

Some Good Songs

Broken and Beautiful - Mark Schultz

This is a truly lovely song, it's very uplifting if your feeling down this is sure to bring you up.

Give Me Your Eyes - Brandon Heath

I find this song inspiring, I always just want to get up and do something when I listen to this song.

Your My God - Jaci Velasquez

This song is another upbeat song that makes you want to sing along. It's kind of catchy. Oh, and it makes you smile.

Even If - Kutless

This is a slower yet very heart warming song. It's very good for when your having a bad day.

Books

I love books. They are an escape. You can go anywhere, may it be the noisy city or the serene outdoors. You can go through life changing experiences, or sit in a class room, or both. You can adventure through endless wilderness or reach the end of the world. So why not love books? The truly good reader is the one who can see the events happening as they read and put themselves into the story. I do that, all the time. So yeah, I love books. Why not?

Love and Pain

Love is a dangerous thing, for if you offer yourself love you subject yourself to pain. There is no love without pain nor pain without love. When you dare to love someone you have to be ready to feel pain, because it will come. But treasuring in the moments of love you realize, it's worth it.

Tidbit on my life

So I'm attempting to learn French. This is what I've learned so far.

Vivre, Amour, Apprendre
Live, Love, Learn

Life in a Circle

Blowing winds and chilling air swept the leaves to the sky in the clouded night. Rain fell, then slush, then snow. The pure white weighed down the leaves pinning them to the ground. The fought for their place in the world. The leaves wanted to fly, and the snow wanted to land. But they could not trade places. The snow buzzed in the sky trying to get passed the leaves. The leaves tried to break through the snow to return to their place up high. The snow blamed the leaves. The leaves blamed the snow. But the snow would melt and the leaves decay. The snow goes to water and the leaves to dirt. The dirt then leads the water to oceans were it can go back to the sky, and the water thanks the dirt by feeding it life. Then the dirt births a tree and the water forms snow. That snow falls while the tree sheds it's leaves, and again their journey begins. 

~

The end is always just the beginning.  

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Eye of Wonder

An eye of wonder. 

A dreaming eye, for the eye holds your soul.

If you want to see someone you look at their eyes through your own.

This eye, for me, holds wonder.

It looks calm, peaceful, and dreamy. 

Eyes hold so much, What do your eyes hold?

What are dreams?

Dreams.

There are three different kinds of dreams. The sleeping dream. The day dream. And the future dream.

A sleeping dream is our minds at work at night when we aren't awake. In a sleeping dream you can go anywhere you want however most people can't control their sleeping dreams. Sleeping dreams can be interpreted with deep meaning depending on what happened. Nightmares are the same as sleeping dreams which is why they don't get their own category, they are another way to understand your deepest feelings.

Day dreams, these are very special. Your conscious dreams are important because we use them as an escape. When we want to escape the real world, we day dream. It is a valuable part of a persons life. Day dreaming is also like brain storming, it's just thinking about things wether it be fantasy or a real event when your thinking about it to escape what is happening around you, you are day dreaming.

And finally a future dream. These are dreams we have for ourselves, such as getting that job, or house, or family. These are all future dreams because it's what we wish we had. Future dreaming is like planning for what is to come. Even if we don't know what is coming. Our future dreams can be what drives us to succeed. 

I have always found dreams important. All kinds. If you met me I would ask about your dreams future, day, and night because dreams are insight to someone and if I know about your dreams I can better know you.     

Fear

Fear holds us captive in our own bodies. We are controlled by it. We wish to be let free of it's chains but still they hold us down. But even being caged by fear it is only a figment of the mind. Fear is an irrational feeling that we are tricked by. Fear exists to keep us from doing things that could cause us harm, but when fear comes about because we think about doing something risky, we stop. Because our instinct is that the fear means we are in danger. Which is not always true. It can also be a sign the your doing something right, because you will never do anything great without second thoughts or fear. Fear holds us back but we can't let it be the restraints that keep us from doing amazing things. 

The dreamcatcher

The dreamcatcher, it is said to capture the bad dreams in it's web and let the good ones pass through the middle, then when the sun rises the bad dreams are killed.

Let's have the dreamcatcher catch not only the bad dreams that come in your sleep but also the horrors of day, those things that keep you from wanting to go outside. Let's through those fears aside and be brave.

The begining to a good story

What can be perceived as a perfect life isn't always so perfect.

I say this because it is quite true. Before you say I'm insane first ask what is perfect? Maybe you admit that there is no such thing as perfect maybe you can think of a list of things, that's alright. Say you, like a lot of people, don't believe in perfect. Well then is there good and bad or does everything just happen because someone did something really stupid or really smart? Can you say what defines good and bad? Perhaps you say good things help people make happy, joyful feelings, and bad things hurt people they make people feel damaged. I would say that is an OK way to describe it. Now back to the word "perfect" have you ever said or heard someone say "that's perfect" or "there life is perfect"? I have. We use this broad open term that doesn't even really exist. And as far as perfect lives go you will never find a single one.

~

 Her blonde hair spread out in the soft grass of which she laid, thinking. Her eyes blue like the sky gazed at the passing clouds, she wished more than anything for something, anything to happen. But the land was peaceful and lonely. This world was not cold nor warm there was no fear and no excitement and she was alone. She wanted life, to know that she was at least living but no one was there and no one was coming. She had always been alone and alone she always will be. Her day went on as normal the sun rose and set, the stars came out to great the moon in the sky and sunk down again for the sun to take light of the next day. The world was always like this it always had been and always will be. So why did she care if it were any different? This girl, this lonely teenage girl had such a simple life, there was no hunger, no pain, or sorrow, not a day out of place, the sun always shone, there where no storms, the grass always grew, and there was no drought or death. There was nothing that should cause her to be unhappy, but she was. Because in all of this world’s abundance there, it seemed, was no life. Sure trees grew and the grass and plants all grew and birds flew in the sky and crickets chirped in the night. But she was alone; she had no one to share her great wealth of the world with, and no one to talk to and to answer back. And where was the adventure? Where was the fun in every day? There being no pain, every day was the same, every day was safe and easy. She didn’t want that. She wanted the adventure the difference the change that never came. She wanted the proof of life, to know that she was alive. She knew if she were cut she would bleed, she knew that a heart beat in her chest, she knew that she grew older, and that one day her life would come to an end. But never did she see blood flow from her skin, never did her heart race with excitement or fear, never did she look in a mirror to see her age, and never did she come near to death. “What do you want from me?” She would shout. “What should I do? I crave life, I crave adventure.” She would cry to the heavens in search of an answer, an answer that never came. She would lift her head and yell and scream for hours and days “What should I do?”, “Anything, anything at all, please.” She would say again and again falling to her knees. While she had, what seemed, no true reason to be so sad she was, and every day she would beg and plead but there was never an answer never a sign never any hint of anything that may come, nothing. 

~

So can you at least have a good life? Well of course but often our understanding of what a good life is gets mixed up. Many people strive for money, people, and possessions. That's not a bad thing. In fact it is quite helpful to have a good amount of money and lots of people around you. However you can have all those things and still feel like your missing something. Most people do, and most people are. If I were a pastor, hence I'm a Christan, I would say that thing you are missing is Christ. Which I believe but because not all of you readers are quite sure of your beliefs or you are and you do not have these beliefs (which is fine) I will give you a slightly more open opinion on what you just might be missing. First the questions. How do you feel about yourself? Do you like yourself, or are you uncomfortable with being you, do you feel judged? How do you feel about other people? Do you enjoy being around people? Maybe, I'm not sure? And the biggest question, how do you feel about how everything works? Just in the world as one. I know that last one is a big question and it's alright if you can't answer and it's great if you can (as long as your completely honest).

OK so how do you feel about yourself? It is possible that you completely and totally love yourself, it is also possible that you just aren't so sure about who you are. For me, well I struggle with this one. I personally have a very low self esteem. I don't always hold myself at a high regard because I feel that I don't deserve it. And I know for experience that feelings like that can make you feel very alone. Feeling good about yourself is the number one thing that you have to be able to do because if you don't love yourself you aren't allowing others to love you either. So simply love yourself and that is the first step to having a "perfect life".

Before I go on I think this would be a good place to quote a wonderful movie that I saw once. Yes a movie. Here's what it says, ""That's not simple." "Yes it is, it's just hard."" These words, no matter where they came from, are one of those things that just stay with you. It's something I will remember forever.

OK! Now that you've thought about that, lets move on to the next question. How do you feel about other people? Once you feel good about yourself you can move on to the next biggest problem, and that is other people. I knew this one person who literally looked at everything negatively. She actually said that she hated people. She didn't have a lot of friends. So it is very important that you next love other people. Yes I did say love them. I've met many different people in my short lifetime and I know that some people can't live without other people, some people feel abandoned, and others yet just feel out of place and avoid others. You could be any number of those people, or somewhere in between. Humans are one of the most complex things you will ever encounter. Most people hold a mask in front of their face that can be hard to see through. This is normally the cause of "evil people". That one (or more) person you just can't stand simply holds a very thick and dark mask. Others hold a bright colorful mask. Nonetheless it's a mask. A very important skill to learn if you want to love people, is to be able to see through someones mask. People don't always want you to see through their masks, but if you can you will be able to better understand why someone feels or does what they do. It's a special coping mechanism, a mask is, that's why all people where one.

~

They walked with mumbling words by one another. One not really seeing the other. Their faces where of thin wood held to there eyes which were not visible. All of the masks looked different, so everyone know who everyone was. Or did they? They did not. When they looked at one another they saw the mask and nothing more. No one saw anyone, yet they all thought that they did. Not one of the mumbling masks fell because they didn't feel like masks. They tricked everyone, including themselves. As one mask peered out of it's large black eyes, it watched the colors. One was completely black, another was of all bright colors, and yet another was half black and half white. The small mask saw that non were the same and it saw that they all explained the person behind it. But as the mask studied the others more closely it saw the small slits in the blank eyes of the masks. And when the mask looked even closer it saw color behind the mask. That was not something the little mask knew. It worried the mask so the mask looked away and saw a mirror when it did. The mask turned to the mirror and saw a mask it did not know. The mask it saw was colored in green and blue swirls with small stars decorating the edge. But the mask didn't know the mask it saw so it looked closer and saw the eyes. In the masks eyes the little mask saw something it knew. And as the mask finally lowered the little girl saw herself. And when she looked around again all the other masks became clear to her eyes, and she could see the people beneath.  

~

   

Our World

We live in a world of pain

A world of suffering

And a world of sadness

What do we do to overcome that?

Most of us just ignore it just passing it by.

Some of us are overwhelmed by it and refuse the world.

And a very few of us face it bravely, fighting threw the pain

Diminishing the sadness

 Cure the suffering.

Let us be that few.

Why can't we be the ones who others wish to be?

Why can't we overcome the world

And create are own world

And new world free of pain 

 Free of sadness

And free of Suffering

A world with brave people

Courageous warriors

Who fight for the ones they love

A world full of advantage

And love

And life.

~

We create our own stories every day. What happens in our lives is up to us. What we do has the ultimate meaning. So lets do it.  

Today I went to church and received a wonderful message.
The subject was called Reset, this week it was resetting your body.
Now this doesn't mean getting fit, eating right and looking good.
It was about resetting where YOU are.
Not only where you are physically but where you are mentally and emotionally as well.
Mark, the pastor, talked about how you can be somewhere without really being there.
"Have you ever been somewhere without being there, you know your just somewhere else." He said.
He also told a funny story about how when he was a kid he was super hyper and how his mom gave him "stomach pills" when he was going crazy. He said that it wasn't until he was 40 and got a very hyper dog that needed meds did his mom mention that she gave him those dog pills to calm him down as a kid. :)
He said quit a few other funny things and I had a very good time there.
Go ahead and check it out on the website. www.gccwired.com

I didn't even finish the first book and I had to go and make covers for a whole series. Oh, what was I thinking! Even so I think the last one is the best. Hey you know I think the titles are good what do you think?
"Mixed: Fighting Fire" "Mixed: Return to Earth" and "Mixed: Through the Darkness"

RUN...

I run Far, I run Nowhere
I run Scared, I run Brave
I run Free, I run Trapped
I run Strong, I run Weak
I run Slow, I run Fast
I run Strong, Far, and Fast.
I run Scared, Weak, and Slow.

I run to things and away from things. I run out of fear and out of love. I run for great things and run from grave things. We all run and run. But are we running to something? Someone? Somewhere? Are we running away? We can run so fast we stumble we run so fast that we fall. We run, always run. "I run to You", "I run from Evil". But we always run. Run and Run and Run. Why do we run? Is it bad or good or both? I run out of fear. And I run out of hope. I run for many things. What do you run for?
Why do you RUN?

Be Free.

Go and be Free.
Be Free to Live.
Go and Have Peace.
Have Peace to Speak.
Go and Find Love.
Find Love for Happiness.
Go and Save Friends.
Save Friends so They Save Friends.
Go and be Free.
FREE TO LIVE!

Why?

Why hide behind the Mask that you do?
Why hold yourself deep Inside?
Why not be Open?
Why not Free?
Why do you hide?

Why not Open up?
Why not let yourself Go?
What Holds you back?
What stops your Soul?
Why not be Free?
Why?